Diploma's in the mail

I graduated. Bam.

Thus ends part 1

I'll keep this simple and straightforward. I've found everything that I wanted to find at the beginning of this blog. Sorry I couldn't update you all on the play-by-play. All I have to do now is hold on to what I have, and make sure it doesn't slip away! Hey everyone, I'm finally happy! WOO!

blanked out

I'm just...so happy right now, and so damn worried at the same time. Haha, I know this is a bit shady, but I'm going to post more as soon as my schedule clears up. You'll understand.

THIS MEANS WAR!

The girl of my dreams was going to come over last night. Unfortunately, I fell asleep just before she texted me. Why? Well, this week I had to make up a lot of conditioning classes on Monday because I’m going to interviews across the damn world on Wednesday and Thursday. Basically, I had four conditioning classes in a row, Yoga, Aerobics, Pilates, and Fitness and Conditioning.

Yoga was easy enough. Just a bunch of stretching and whatnot, like normal. Aerobics was taught by a different instructor though. In the auxiliary gym.

The auxiliary gym is a creepy place. My first aerobics class, back in the beginning of the year, was taught there before it was moved upstairs to…the mirror room (I’ll discuss this in a later post). The auxiliary gym is used by the baseball team when they run drills. Rumor has it that they have to put buckets out, because they train the team so hard that the frequently vomit allover the place. Of course, I was not looking forward to this. And what did I get for it? Hip hop aerobics.

Can I dance in real life? No. So who the hell thought it was a bright idea to teach me hip hop aerobics!? I looked like a drunk trying to fight an invisible man at the peek of his binge. All class I just flailed around, jumping, trying to look ok. There was ONE move that I could do ok, and it was called the snake. I can’t describe it too well, but basically, it’s when you lead with your shoulder and kind of sink/glide into a direction.

How do I know I was good at the snake, you ask? Well, in my next damn makeup class, Pilates, which WAS in the mirror room, I took a little gander at myself. Damn, I looked hot. Just amazing. But that’s besides the point. Fitness and Conditioning was after Pilates. You never know what to expect from Fitness and Conditioning.

Sometimes we do meditation. Sometimes we do an Energetics workout. Monday…we did abs. Nothing but abs. Previously, I thought crunches and sit-ups were the only workouts for the stomach. My God, how wrong I was. That instructor worked me like a $2 prostitute. I bent like a pretzel, and my stomach muscles wouldn’t stop twitching by the end of the class. Today, it feels like someone shot me in the stomach while I was wearing Kevlar. I brought this on myself though – a week before I told the instructor that I wanted a 6-pack by the end of the semester. She kept looking at me in class like, “Haha, FUCKER, teach you to request something. You know not what you fuddle with!”

Anyway, as soon as I got back from my meeting at night I fell right to sleep, moments before she texted me. Moments. Literally. The worst part is…right before I clonked out, there was this little voice in my head that said to text her to tell her to CALL me as opposed to texting when she was ready to come over. And I didn’t listen to it. I thought I wasn’t going to fall asleep. And if I did, at least, I didn’t think I would fall asleep deep enough to not hear the phone next to my stupid head!

I woke up at 7:30 to go to the bathroom, and I’m legitimately so pissed off right now that I can’t go back to sleep. When I woke up, my body did that odd twitch thing, when you realize that you fell asleep when you didn’t want too and your feet kind of jolt up. Then your body kind of flails in place and throws off the sheets, as if you’re a two year old throwing a temper tantrum. I couldn’t believe the sun was up already. I rolled towards my cell, than reached for it. “No.”

And there was the text.

“Awake?”

These conditioning classes manage to take my dignity every week. Every damn week. And now they take THIS!? I actually like this girl! And it’s not just that I want to sleep next to her – I’m going to be away tonight into tomorrow, then prepping for interviews into Thursday. Thursday night my friend wants me to visit him down south, and Friday I have the campus Relay for Life to go to that I’m going to be at all night. Today, as soon as 11 o’clock hits, I’m going to be either in the office or at class until I leave for (insert college name here). I had to shift all of my office hours around this week because of these interviews, so I’m working like a dog all day. I’m probably not going to see her for a while, and all I want to do is get to know her. This, of course, puts a dent in my plans.

Of course…she can never know how upset I am over the fact that I missed her text. Nuh uh.

Fuck my life.

-Jack

Almost back to 100%

The flu lasted almost two weeks, but I’ve finally beaten my way out of it, and I’m almost back to full strength. I don’t think I’ll ever feel the same though, because that flu really threw my mind for a loop. Half of me is pretty upset, because I ended up dropping my econometrics class. The professor even gave me an extension, but I couldn’t meet it because I had prior obligations then, too. If I took the time to study, I would have been fine for that exam. It wasn’t even that hard of a class yet.

Either way, I wish I had taken that advanced creative writing/fiction workshop/whatever course that I wanted to before I chose econometrics. I wouldn’t have had to drop it if I did, because, as far as I know, there are no exams for that class. Just essays. Writing. Etc. I’m really upset I didn’t take that class instead. Not to sound hokey, but if I learned anything because of this flu, it’s that I should do what I want. Why dedicate my life to economics and try to save the world if that’s not what I want to do (and I’m starting to debate whether or not it is anymore)? You know? I should probably start playing catch up with my writing skills and publish that novella of mine that I was working on. That sounds good.

But yeah. Let’s see let’s see…my mentality definitely changed since the meds kicked in. I can’t quite explain it.

The problem now? Graduating. I now have 14 credits, and I need 13 to graduate. If I fail my economics course, or my athletic injury management…then I’m sunk. I can’t fail more than 1 conditioning class…or I’m sunk. This isn’t going to be easy, because they grade based on attendance, and I’m going to be flying around to a few of the states nearby for job interviews in the coming week, which means I’ll be missing class. So I’ve been talking to my instructors, and most of them have found ways for me to make up the sessions that I miss. Except for one. Well…she says they will be excused absences…but I can tell that she doesn’t like me.

She doesn’t like me at all.

And I’m in three of her classes.

That’s three credits. And two of those classes are on the same day that I’m missing.

She doesn’t take attendance. I don’t know if this is good or bad. I mean…sometimes I think that she doesn’t mind me. But most of the time, it’s painfully obvious that I’m not on her good side. She just…stonewalls me during conversations. I can read into people pretty well, and I can tell that THIS ONE is not a big fan of the Jack. Nuh uh.

So I need everyone to wish me luck, or else I’ll be here for another year. Alright, I need to go stay on top of my remaining course’s work. Adios.

Ugh

For the last week....up until last night....and maybe even today...this had been me. Trying to crawl into a ball and just die in peace.

I dropped econometrics. Couldn't study for the mid term.

Whatever happened to me over break made me question what I was going to do with my life. I have no clue anymore. No clue. All these places want to interview me for a job though. Wowwie. I'd type more...but I can't. Good night.

Escape hell

Monday, March 10, 2008

10:57 PM

Well, I’m still alive. For some reason, my face hasn’t gotten puffy at all. Nope, no chipmunk cheeks here. The teeth came out relatively easy. Let me tell you, the needle they use to pump the anesthetic into your gums is very intimidating. When he shot up my left side, I felt my sinuses blow up. That was pretty neat , except for the fact that my damn nose and (right about here the pain meds kicked in)

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

9:51 PM

Ok, clearly the drugs they gave me got in the way of that last post. Since I’m still dosed, let me go over some highlights for all of you:

1. The doc wore this plastic cover over his face, and I could totally see the reflection of whatever he was doing to me at the time. Let me tell you – that surgery is AWESOME. I mean, they really beat the shit out of the inside of your mouth, but I was thoroughly fascinated.

2. I remember not being able to feel my bottom lip. That’s a neat feeling. Now I know what girls feel when they rub up against my stubble. Maybe I’ll take that into consideration next time I shave.

3. Trying to drink water when I got home with a numb lip. Looking down afterwards and realizing that the kitchen floor underneath me was covered in blood. Should have guessed that was gonna happen.

4. Calling a potential employer while doped up on pain killers. Result? No longer a potential employer. YAHTZEE!*

5. (right about here the pain meds kicked in again)

*Don’t ask.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

2:13 PM

FUCK PAIN KILLERS. Fuck vicoden in its stupid ass. Argh! AHHH! If only I had this much energy in real life. I decided to stop doing the pain killers yesterday so that I could tough it out. For some reason I started shivering uncontrollably afterwards. It was miserable, I tell you. Just miserable. I was whimpering like a little wimp. Withdrawal. Anyway, apparently I caught my someone’s flu at the same time I’ve been recovering. That would explain why my nose was all runny a while ago. The flu, cou (right about here I had to rest. You’d think I’d have more strength in me, since I’m only 21. Guess not)

9:40 PM

I’ve been sleeping for the entire day. Somehow I caught a flu. My teeth are fine though – no infection. I have no clue who the bastard was that gave me the flu, but when I find them I’m going to shake the shit out of them. Ugh. I take it back. I’m not a violent person. These things just happen.

I can’t concentrate. Everything is achy. Ugh. So weak.

Friday, March 14, 2008

8:12 PM

I slept for half the day. In the beginning I had some fever chills. Now I feel better. Almost 70% better. It turns out that I’ve been biting down on my inner lip. It’s been a bit swollen on the inside, so it looks like my back molars have been getting a piece of it. Yuck. But yeah. I feel a lot better. The only downside? I have two midterms this week. Monday and Tuesday.

I KNEW something would bite me in the ass and make it so that I couldn’t study for these two suckers. If I fail these classes I won’t be able to graduate, so for the next three days my bedroom is going to be the boiler room, just like it used to be called junior year when I drilled away at term papers and exams before they were due. You know when you’re sitting down, working in the same seat all day, and you get that fine line of sweat between your ass cheeks? Yeah. Boiler room. That’s what it’s called. I’ve heard one other person refer to their room as the boiler room. I was pretty surprised, especially because I had/maybe still have a thing for her, but I doubt she ever sat down for so long that her ass became a lagoon.

Psh.

Amateur.

So, what did I learn after getting my wisdom teeth taken out?

1. To hell with pain meds. If the doc told me their side effects before I took them, I don’t think I would have even tried.

2. The flu sucks.

3. Withdrawal sucks.

4. Studying REALLY sucks. Especially when it’s under pressure.

5. One more, major thing. Whatever caused the dreams that I had over the last two days, whether it be the flu, the pain meds, or the shakes I’ve been drinking before I went to bed to stop my body from releasing keytones and eating itself… I never want it to be in my life again. My dreams over the past few days have been demented. I mean, some were pretty cool, but a lot of them had this eerie ring of truth to them, like I’ve been hiding something from myself for a while, and the dreams have been cracking away at it.

And to top it all off, I woke up this morning, and my pants felt like someone spilled a gallon of Elmer’s glue on them. I mean, holy shit. Really? Let’s not even get into how awkward that dream was. Ey ey! It’s a loophole! Don’t judge me. You don’t know where I am right now!

Lent’s almost over. Keep your fingers crossed.